what a long strange day its been

sometimes i am stubborn. okay, a lot of times. lets take today for instance. most people try to avoid being outside between the hours of 12 pm and 5 pm because it is just too hot. not this girl. when she decides she wants to go to the coffee shop, she goes. 120 degree heat won't stop her. at approximately 12:20 pm i leave my apartment in search of a coffee shop. my walk should take about 15 minutes door to door. at about minute 11 of my walk i cut through this parking lot of a car dealership (the same one i cut through every day on the way to school). i see a man pull up in a car. i think  to myself, oh gosh, i am not dealing with this. i keep walking. he's shouting out the window, "ma'am, ma'am." i finally turn to acknowledge him and he responds, "ma'am it is too hot to be walking. may i give you a ride somewhere?"  i politely decline and tell him i was just headed to the university less than a block away (not exactly true but it seemed like a good response on the spot). my mom taught me not to take candy from strangers so i thought i probably shouldn't take rides from them either. 120 degrees or not. 

but the highlight of the day was yet to come. this evening i hung out with my favorite family in kuwait. it's my friend adnan's family and they have taken exceptional care of me ever since i arrived. we spent the evening at the scientific center. while mona (adnan's mother) and i were walking through the aquarium an indian woman approached me and asked if i would take a picture. i said yes assuming she wanted me to take a picture of her family. wrong. she wanted to take a picture with me. then her mother joined in for another picture and before i knew it we were taking a family photo and there was my face amongst a sea of unknown. 

i was confused. what just happened? why me? did she want a picture with an american? someone who was white? i don't know. as uncomfortable as i felt i stood there for three photos posing as if i were reunited with old friends. i wonder, if in some very miniscule way, this is how other people feel. you know, the ones we sometimes like to take pictures of because we think they look "exotic" or "different." they pose politely because they don't know what else to do and then walk away wondering what makes you think they're so different in the first place.  

marriage

nope, not my own. but the other day in the women's section of cultural anthropology i learned a lot about the history of kuwaiti marriages. i asked students to think of particular areas we could study to better understand the way a society operates. the first response: marriage. then i learned  a bit more. 

back in the day (and i'm not sure how far back) this is how arranged marriages in kuwait worked. the mother of a young woman would take a picture of her daughter to the mother of a young man. once the mother of the young man had a few options she would choose a woman suitable for her son. after the mother made her selection she would inform her husband. when both mother and father of the young groom agreed upon a bride for their son the marriage was arranged. bride and groom met on their wedding day. 

ok meredith, and the  big deal is...? it was the mothers, not the fathers, who arranged the marriages! it was the women who, if you will, held the power. those of you who are married and are from the united states may have experienced the converse. while your marriage may not have been arranged, if you are the male you may have sought the blessing of the bride's father, and if you are the woman, perhaps your husband asked your father for his  'approval' before proposing. 

and so, the lesson of the day: things are not always as they appear. 

facing yourself

school started today. neil and i decided we should celebrate, or more likely, reward ourselves, and get a cup of coffee after class. well, actually, neil bought the coffee since he lost a bet for one dinar last night (the dinar is the kuwaiti currency, it's about $3.75 USD and the cost of a cup of coffee here). i've been in kuwait a week now and can't help but recognize the similarities and differences between kuwaiti and united states cultures. probably the most recognizable difference is dress. while some women and men cover (whether their head or their entire dress), others do not (and for those wondering, no, i don't cover). but the similarities are striking. there are coffee shops on virtually every block (especially the status symbol that is starbucks), malls galore (here they're especially expensive and high end), teenagers walking in excessively large packs, people going to the grocery store after work, and families living their daily lives.

why then this imagery that the middle east (as if it was one country, like africa is often spoken about) is so different? neil kindly pointed out to me that sometimes when i make observations i use adjectives such as weird or different, rather than new or interesting. ouch. tomorrow i have to go into a classroom of women and men (classrooms are sex separated in accordance with islamic law) and teach them about ethnocentrism and cultural relativism. and what have i just done? meredith, the one who loves to study and learn about other cultures has fallen into the trap of using my culture and experiences as the basis for comparison. this is hard to admit, but good to share.

all this to say for those of you who are worried about me, please don't be. i am fine and i am safe. actually, i am better than fine. i have never met more hospitable and kind people than i have in kuwait this past week! plus, take a look at these pics. how could i not love living and working in such a beautiful place?

dishes.

i've always wanted to be one of the cool kids who could stay up to the wee hours of the morning and then slept half the day away. thanks to a seven hour time change, i am now that person (well, at least the one who sleeps half the day away). since arriving in kuwait i haven't been able to fall asleep before 3 am or drag myself out of bed before noon. today, i vowed, this would change. school starts wednesday and i probably need to work on practical things, like a syllabus and making sure i can wake up for my 10 am class. today i was out the door a little after 9 am.

my early morning had a few unintended consequences, one being i didn't wash the dirty dishes in the sink. when i returned home this afternoon i entered the kitchen and i was perplexed. where did my dishes go? and what about that massive white cutting board? i checked the cabinets, the drawers. nothing. hmmm. then i looked above the sink, saw the cutting board drying, and realized the housekeeper cleaned my dishes, put them away, and left the board out to dry. WHAT!?! i am semi-okay with someone cleaning my "luxury serviced apartment" and making my bed (although this happens daily which is completely unnecessary), but doing my dishes is just too much.

i tried to do my homework before coming to kuwait. one of the pieces i read said westerners often have difficulty comprehending and receiving the service work of foreign nationals. guess i'm one of those people. you say, how is this any different than in the states? aren't service workers in the states comprised largely of latino immigrants, blacks, and women? yes, you are absolutely correct. i can't seem to find the exact words i'm searching for. it is similar, yet different. birthright and nationality automatically determine social class here. there is little, if any, upward mobility. it's pretty much a caste system.

across from our apartment building there is a rundown building where some foreign nationals live. i pass this building walking to and from school and have a view of the building from my balcony. today, an old bus with no air conditioning was parked outside jammed packed with southeast asian and indian women. are these the same women who clean my apartment and do my dishes?

today my heart is sad. whether it's kuwait, the mountains of the new river valley, or the streets of oakland, poverty and wealth are such close neighbors. i'm not sure what the answer is, but one thing is for sure, i am going to wake up early enough to do my dishes tomorrow morning.